Random thoughts and opinions that pop into my head

Tag Archives: psychology

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Vampires seem to be everywhere the last few years and everyone seems to like to add their own twist to their lore. Although whether it is Dracula, An Interview with a Vampire or Twilight there is one common thread: they all live for a very long time. This got me thinking, if I lived for hundreds of years without aging what would I do? It would definitely solve all those debates about what to major in in University and what do I want to do with my life? I would not have to choose just one career. In most of these stories, the vampires move along every decade or so in order to avoid people noticing that they never get older. Every time they move on it is a chance for a whole new life. Always wanted to study philosophy but thought it would be a better choice to go into business? Do it! Want to write a book? Why not? You have hundreds of years of time to kill and there always seem to be unlimited funds once someone lives that long so why not do everything?

I am what people call “a jack of all trades, master of none”. There are so many things that interest me I can never just focus on one thing, I’m always moving on to the next. I would love to focus on one occupation, master it, then focus on another but I know there is not enough time in my life to do that. I would love to learn more instruments and actually get myself to an advanced level but as of now I am moderately competent at a few and master of none. At least I have tried them, I suppose that is more than most.

In school it was always so hard to pick one thing to study, I wanted to take courses in so many departments. This led to me taking electives when I could and again, barely scratching the surface of several topics but not nearly as much as I would have liked. If I lived for a couple hundred years I would study psychology, philosophy, english, history, all of it. Except maybe calculus, one course of that was enough for a million life times!

So moral of the story: so much to do, so little time!

I thought I would add a quote that always stuck with me from Sylvia Plath’s “The Bell Jar”:

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

Ps I just noticed apparently I haven’t posted anything since October…whoops! I have drafts written up but none of them got completed. Must do better in 2014!

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When is it, if ever, acceptable to give someone relationship advice? One would think that people share their problems because they want others opinions but then again maybe they just want to vent and get things off their chest. So how do you know if you should chime in?
Right off the bat I would like to point out that I am not a ‘sharer’. I don’t like to talk about my feelings. I don’t know how to respond when someone is crying. I am not a good person to come to if you want a shoulder to cry on. If you want someone to listen to you and analyze the situation then I’m your girl. I have always been interested in how people behave and what it is that drive them to do the things they do. I used to love taking psychology courses, I found them fascinating. Human beings are so complex yet we are able to understand, much of the time, why it is that people behave the way they do.
Back to relationship advice. If it is a close friend talking to me, I’ll listen and then ask “do you want my honest opinion?”. The grey area is someone you don’t know all that well talking to you. You don’t know if they are telling you just to tell somebody or if they want advice or answers. Recently, an acquaintance was telling me about her problems with a guy she was dating. It seemed obvious to me that he was trying to find a way out and trying to do it gently but I didn’t know if it was my place to say anything. So I just listened. Maybe I should look into becoming a ‘Dear Abby’ type of person. I am uncomfortable with emotions but have been told that I give good advice. Maybe a write in advice column is something I should look into. At least when people write in you know that they want your advice and opinion. It takes the awkwardness out of the situation. If they don’t like the answer they should never have written in. Yes, I like this idea.
What do you think? Do you share aspects of your relationship just to share or do you usually want the person’s opinion? I’m curious if I should pipe in or not.